Entry 162: No Empathy
I watched a video on YouTube that reported a live-streamer who died during a charity stream a few weeks ago. The reporters were trying to hold back the tears, because even though they did not know the individual, they empathized with the grieving fan-base.
Yet I felt neutral about the situation. To put it bluntly, I almost didn't care, because I cannot fathom that kind of emotion.
It also has to do with my faith, because I don't think I'm as heartless as I just wrote beforehand.
At work, I overheard that a coworker had been burglarized several times, even had her gym bag stolen by a bicyclist. But this woman is a tough cookie; she's as small as a 10 year old, possibly old enough to be my grandmother, but she'll carry boxes as large as herself and haul huge pallets for hours.
The other coworkers said she should go to some place and cleanse the bad luck away, but the little old lady says she just keeps praying to God. In a way, I empathize with her, because our lot in life is only temporary, according to scripture, so the string of "bad luck" shouldn't be taken so hard.
Yet when it comes to death, my mind still views it as the beginning of something more, so in a way, death isn't sad to me, despite not being able to empathize.